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Happiness is a warm puppy: an old cartoon strip claimed. The Beatles turned that around in a satiric social comment by singing, “Happiness is a warm gun.” For a lot of us happiness is a hot chocolate mud pie. The truth is happiness, stress and grief are often linked to eating! And no one gets harmed in the process excepting oneself.
Over time I have learned that it’s important to love yourself, eat with awareness and accept that you are eating with someone you are comfortable with: YOURSELF. And the big no-no is stressful or emotional eating. It almost always is eating without eating. Which means it does not satisfy or pacify. Linking emotion to eating is like being an addict.

So here’s the idea. Treat yourself like you would a good friend. SERVE yourself the food. Put it all on a plate, even garnish or pretty up the food. Smile, you’re getting to eat with someone who’s smart, great company and a good person. Not only will this make you eat less, it will also make you savour your food and make you smile.

There was the time when a colleague in office had said something particularly nasty about me. It bothered me so much that it preyed on my mind. At home that evening, without realising it, I cut myself a slice of chocolate cake and ate it, fuming inwardly all the time. A few more instances of stress and I urged myself to find a solution. Here’s what works for me. Like anger management, I simply follow the ‘15 minute time-out’ rule. Take deep breaths and don’t reach for food for 15 minutes, during which time you focus on what is bothering you. Reach into yourself rather than into the snack box.

Over the years, on the advice of the world’s best psychologist-my mother -I have developed the art of analysing why I eat when it’s not mealtime. And quite often it’s fear, anger, jealousy. A technique that’s helped me: go to a room, be alone and undisturbed. Write down the name of every person who has ever angered you. You might even find your own name at the top of the list (I did).Then from deep within you actually say out loud that you forgive each person by name: make up any forgiveness mantra that works for you. You will be amazed at how cathartic this is… and with the cause disappearing, the urge to eat goes too!

I have found too that happiness could be as much of a culprit as worry. I remember being invited to perform at a concert that was a dream for most musicians. The result? Euphoria, fear and stress. So as both reward and compensation I reached out for food. Was I hungry? No I was emotionally hungry!

Here are tips from experts on how to tell emotional and physical hunger apart.

Emotional Hunger
Is sudden: it goes from 0-60 in a short time.
You crave for a specific food. No substitute will do!
Is urgent: urges you to eat NOW!
Is paired with an upsetting, even elevating emotion or situation.
Induces guilt: you eat to feel better and end up berating yourself.
Physical hunger
Is gradual: gives you clues that it’s time to eat.
Is open to any food though there may be choices.
Is in the stomach.
Is patient: doesn’t ask you to eat right now.
No guilt or shame-realises eating is necessary.

By Maya Sami